I'm leaving on a jet plane. :-h

I've been always dreaming for the past eight days since I've been quarantined and isolated of leaving the Philippines and study abroad. :( I've heard a lot of grade school friends gabbling about their US lives. I've heard them become discombobulated from the difference of school here and there and choosing which is better. I've seen their awesome pictures that's just actually their ordinary day in US. I've seen their stunningly handsome and gorgeous classmates wherein she's smarter than them and she brings home the bacon, ALWAYS. :(

I've heard them do more "exotic" and some"toxic" schoolwork. I've talked to them like there was this gap of what language to use even if I know that they will understand you. I've seen them come back looking different with their soft curled hair, highlighted/colored hair, goddess-like face, and the sweet smell of success and extraordinaire. @-) :O I also want to talk to some Facebook friends, Y!M contacts, and Multiply contacts in the Philippines. ;)) HAHA =))


All these, I want to experience just even a year of studying there. It can be in the US preferably, or Singapore, Japan, somewhere in Europe, etc. I honestly want to find my skills without the Filipinos and exposing myself through the differences of our culture in the world. I've been looking for the perfect scholarship, but it seems to me, I will concede, that God does not want me to pursue it. :( Maybe it's because I'd go to UP Manila for and Intarmed/Intermed program. WOW, gees. :O @-) Or maybe study in UST or in DLSU where I'd be living in a dormitory? Commute via jeepney, tricycle, or LRT/MRT? I've always wanted to leave for a while and come back whole to serve my fellow countrymen. :) I've always wanted to prove and make a different legacy OUT OF THE PHILIPPINES, instead of graduating Cum Laude in the most prestigious university. Everything here, seems to be owned by the smartest and not of the smart. ONLY. How will you let me in if that's your condition? How can I actually change the standards of being a noble student if what people perceive are different from what some would think. :(

[Photo Credit]

OH SHOOT.
GOD.
KNOWS.
HOW.
MUUUUUCH.
I. WAAAAANT.
IT.
And that I'll risk everything just to let me in. :-bd